When one is acquainted with Dragaera fanciers of a slashing turn of mind, a young fan's fancy oft turns lightly to thoughts of satire, pastiche and porn.
Just such a one is jmtorres, and so, when, upon discussion of the delicate subject of inquiring after fic preferences, she was heard to utter fateful remark " I feel like Vlad talking about work. 'No, I don't do work... I have a friend who does...'" , nothing could be more natural than for image of a Dragaeran slash dealer to arise.
I give you, in the full original form, The Jhereg Slash Merchant.
grey_bard: "I have a friend who has a proprietary interest in tentacle porn."
grey_bard: "Can this be so?"
jmtorres: OH GOD
grey_bard: "Indeed it can."
grey_bard: "I myself, do not, of course, write tentacle porn."
grey_bard: "How could one even suggest it?"
grey_bard: "Indeed. Now, as I was saying, I have a friend with a proprietary interest in tentacle porn - her name, you understand, must remain absolutely secret."
grey_bard: "What else could it be? Oh, go on sir, of course, your friend.:
grey_bard: "If a person were to become aware of a sudden need for tentacle porn, it would be nothing less than a service to let it be known to a tentacle porn provider, would it not?"
grey_bard: "A positive duty."
jmtorres: post this, please
grey_bard: Still going
grey_bard: "Although duty is a song in the heart, often the truly noble find it within their heart to reward service."
grey_bard: "How, with a joy in the heart or with fifty silver?"
grey_bard: "Why, even both, although I have heard that seventy silver is more customary"
grey_bard: "It does not well to quarrel with custom, but one finds that custom may vary with the country."
grey_bard: "In such cases, it might be wisest to reach an equitable border between the two?"
grey_bard: "Even so."
grey_bard: "I will speak to my friend on the subjects of duty and custom. It may be that she is of a sympathetic mind."
grey_bard: "I am most anxious that this is so."
grey_bard: "Good day."